We do have the ability to choose; we choose when to wake up, how to dress, we choose where to go, what to eat, what to work, whom to hang out with, we choose our friends, job, favorite music…what to believe in? We basically can choose the life we want to live.
But, we can never choose whom we fall in love with… we have no control on this… The heart is the ruler in this case…The heart has the final say..
My prayer was answered… Tsunami...texted me…I was beyond delighted… we managed to meet up after 2 days for a drink…
I am sure we all had a moment in life where we wish time would stop…that this moment would last forever… I was all over the place, didn’t know, shall I focus on his gorgeous eyes, or smile, hands… he has very attractive fingers indeed.. .I was watching his lips while he was sipping his beer…
My heartbeats were happy… I couldn’t control my mouth… I was all the time smiling… I felt like I was looking, in fact, staring at a beautiful art work… you just want to keep looking… I didn’t want to blink… it is like you see the drawing you always dreamt of and wished to see but cannot touch…cannot lay your hands on it…I cannot recall out conversation then very well… but I remember that I just wanted to tell him… could you please shut up and kiss me…..
Why can't we forget certain moments in life? The more I am persisting to forget these moments, the more alive they are becoming in my mind…it is true...The more we persist, more resistance we get…
I took Tsunami after the drinks for a drive… I played a beautiful song that my lovely boss had given it to me. I was wondering for 20 minutes in the streets of Amman while talking about so many things. All what was on my head… is he going to ask me out? Does he really feel how attracted I am to him? Can he notice that I am not focused at all? Many questions were popping in my head… what the hell am I really doing with Tsunami… he is married!!!
Am I really allowing a married man to come into my life??? This is a red line for me…so I decided it to drive him back to his car… then tell him; you know it was nice seeing you, but honestly I am not the type of a woman who can date a married man… even if he is going to separate… then thank him for the drinks, and just leave…then have more wine back at home..
I parked the car… he thanked me for the night, then said you know if we were not in the street, I would kiss you… it was the perfect moment to tell him; you know, I cannot see you again… well… taking into consideration that my heart was the ruler of the night, I said: well there is nobody here… you can kiss me…closed my eyes and leaned towards him…
I will at a certain point explain thoroughly the Art of Kissing in the Tsunamis Way…
We agreed to meet up next day for lunch… I arrived at a very nice café in the old part of Amman... looked everywhere… searched for him… I thought, well he will not show up, even better… I am sure he has changed his mind…
He called me and said…you are at the terrace now, look in front of you… you see a man in a dark navy blue suit… wearing sunglasses…
Well my heart didn’t recognize him!!! it was all because of the sunglasses...
Aurora
No comments:
Post a Comment