I was tagged on my facebook earlier today with a video of 2 male characters; one is trying to ask the other a question, the other kept asking him to repeat because he cannot understand the question. The process kept going for around 5 minutes. It’s amazing how the conversation of 2 lines escalated between the 2 men. It started with a very normal straight tone, ended up with massive physical attacks, shouting, and repeatedly saying the same 2 lines.
COMMUNICATION is the key word. This simple video made me contemplate about how far or near I am from being able to communicate my thoughts, opinion, desires, needs, sadness, love, frustrations or decisions. Although I work in the field of communications and PR, I believe that I am very good at my work and in this field whether in private or public sector, yet, to my surprise, I believe the best proof that I still need to work on myself in this area is failing to communicate with Tsunami.
Communication is a 2 way, it takes 2 to make it happen, not only that; open mindedness, focus, will and creativity are the basic ingredients for effective communication. Exactly like great sexual experience between a couple; connection, chemistry, creativity, readiness and focus, is the magic recipe for a fulfilling sexual act. In brief, “it takes 2 to tango”. I must admit here, I am really confused and may be troubled to identify the reason why a very happily sexually satisfied couple would fall in communicating their needs to each other. I have tried all sorts of communication tools and methods to make Tsunami understand my needs as an independent woman. If I were, as he always claimed, his soul mate, why wasn’t he acting accordingly, just at least out of love? But was he really listening? Did I really succeed in my communication? Why am I convinced that I have conveyed my messages? George Bernard Shaw said: “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” Such a great quote!
It is absolutely true, in any sort of relationship, it is really needed to be attentive to what is transmitted to you, but we are in World, where everybody wants to talk, everybody has something extremely important to say, without even listening first.
I also believe that communication needs power; you must be strong to speak up your mind. Reflecting on what was said, repeating it, is very useful too, so you may verify the message sent. Another important point, which I am learning to practice nowadays, is verifying my assumptions and interpretations. A true quote for Friedrich Nietzsche: “there are no facts only interpretations.” Therefore, it is honestly so crucial to check and re-check what the other is trying to tell you, a friend, family, lover, co-worker, senior… anybody and everywhere. I am getting there; now, I am trying as much as I can to verify my assumptions before I act. I believe I never did this during my intense relation with Tsunami, yet I guess he wasn’t even listening to me, or even worse, trying to clarify my assumptions and interpretations.
Since the beginning of time, communication has been vital among all the inhabitants of this Earth. We know and study old civilizations, history and cultures; because of what they left to us of communication tools… what are we going to leave for each other? What sort of feelings we want to remember and incarve in our hearts and minds? How we want to be studied and interrupted?
Personally, I am being more open, I listen more, I control my assumptions, verify them. And most importantly, I am making sure to cultivate myself to be a better communicator. I will only live once, really, there is room or time to pursue miscommunication. I want to live my life to the max in a human healthy way.
Indeed...Communication is one of a kind power...
“The obvious is that which is never seen until someone expresses it simply” Gibran
Aurora
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