Surprise… Disappointment or Emotional Disability?

“An expectation is what is considered the most likely to happen. An expectation, which is a belief that is centered on the future, may or may not be realistic. A less advantageous result gives rise to the emotion of disappointment. If something happens that is not at all expected it is a surprise. An expectation about the behavior or performance of another person, expressed to that person, may have the nature of a strong request, or an order.”

This is one of the definitions of “Expectation”. Is expectation a kind of self defense or self motivating? Is it a smart way to plan the future? Is it an adoption and implementation for the law of attraction? Is it a manifestation that we are humans and not machines???

Half of the people on the planet have read the book “The Secret”, and the other half have been enrolled in positive thinking trainings, coaching or therapy, and believers just depend on God; they believe in “Que sera sera!” the higher power of the Universe will take its natural course.

“The best things happen when we least expect it” I disagree and agree. I do expect a bonus at the end of the year if I meet my targets. I do expect not to beg in the streets if I work hard, earn and enough money. I do expect to be respected if I do respect others. I do expect to have my family beside me in bad times. I do expect my friends to be there for me. I do expect to have fewer wrinkles if I am using anti-wrinkles creams and later Botox. I do expect to have a nice body if I eat well and exercise. These things are really great, and I expect it to happen in my life.

But I am struggling to understand how to live a life with ZERO EXPECTATIONS!

For the past year, I kept saying to myself and others that I am living my life day to day, I have no expectations whatsoever. It is not true at all, I did my best to believe this but with no success.

Reciprocating is a fundamental thing in life, but it doesn't apply on everything. The only venue of our life that obliges us to keep expecting is LOVE. It works like an anti biotic to kill the bacteria of convincing ourselves not to expect anything in LOVE. Unless, we are Mother Teresa or Jesus, we only give love, sweetness and tenderness just because we are people with good hearts; we give and never expect anything in return!!!

The best example on this is:The Stages of Dating: a coffee, a drink,…a dinner, movies…dinner at his house… dinner at her house… talks, discussions, smiles, laughs, and if the man is a super gentle , flowers or a box of chocolate… the expected RESULT is: SEX or in nicer words: making love.

The rhythm goes on, calls, text messages, FB messages, good night messages, good morning messages… plans for the weekend. The woman normally starts to feel a change in her life. Now, this change might be positive or negative. Positive; if it makes her happy and she doesn’t pretend to be happy, in addition she doesn’t amend the course of her life to fit Mr. Man in it. Negative; if she starts interpreting every move he makes as a gesture of bonding, this will definitely nurture her expectations, and this leads of course to become obsessed and needy.

How many of us spent a Friday night crying and going crazy because Mr. Man doesn’t answer his phone neither replies to the voice or text messages!!!!
We, the women are the womb of the Earth, we give with love, with warmth, with kindness, basically we give from our hearts, and unfortunately, we give our hearts easily.
Suddenly, the moment of truth knocks our doors… it actually knocks out our hearts… and many times our self confidence. After a week or 2 of total disappearance, Mr. Man agrees to meet for a "coffee", where he elaborates vividly that he has been very busy and going like a crazy. He elaborates that ,FINALLY, he found himself again, he wants to use this moment of AWAKENING to identify and arrange the cards of his life.

He keeps going...The appearance of Ms. Woman was like a dream came true, like a holy gift, like sunshine after a storm. Ms. Woman, he says while giving those sweetest eyes ever: meeting you saved me, saved my life-, you are the holy angle!

At this moment, her heart beats faster,she swallows her throat, laughing from inside and saying to herself, what a fool! Ms. Woman, he dies for you!!!!!!

Then, like a mosquito bite, quick but the swelling and itch hurt a lot for a long time, and sometimes lives spots. Mr. Man declares that he is not sure of pursuing dating MS. Woman,he likes her a lot, but cannot see himself with her or any other woman!!! -of course a lie-.Mr. Man shares that he wants to focus on other aspects of his life, and for him, it is not the right moment for a serious relationship!!!!

With a lot of mosquito bites like this, our skin becomes thicker; our heads become dislocated from our hearts. It is an emotional practice rather than rational exercise to become numb, cold and soulless… We (the women) are humans, we are made of flesh and blood… the heart rules the mind in %99 of a woman’s life.

My question remains: is it a surprise, disbelief or emotional disability… to not being able to amend our nature as women!!!! to live happily ever after … a happy life with ZERO EXPECTATIONS!!!!

Aurora