When we were kids, we always wanted to break the handcuffs our parents chained us with… we were always challenging our families that we can do everything, we are even capable of driving a car at the age of 16!!!!
At the age of almost 32 I am still confused what does being independent mean?
Is it being financially self sustained? or,emotionally self-sufficient ? Socially connected? or by living on your own? Eating when you want? Cooking what you like? Sleeping where you want? Decorating your house at your own taste? … A bunch of questions…. I can answer to all of them with a big YES…Certainly I am independent according to these questions, but the truth, in reality: I am NOT.
Recently, in the lovely city of Barcelona I met JJ, a young gentleman whom I connect well with him. He makes me laugh a lot, I am relaxed around him.I am not too scared to ask his help for very simple homey daily life things.We are different in everything, yet we are similar in almost everything. We both strive day and night to make our life worthwhile, and we both claim that we want to be independent… actually we are both convinced that we are so independent.
JJ and I have been friends now for almost 6 months, I realized that neither of us is independent or an “alone person”. No human being can be an “alone person” as we intend to look, of course anyone can enjoy a glass of wine, a book, a movie, a dinner for few days on his/her own every once in a while. But seriously, recently I noticed that people try to convince themselves in every possible way that they are better off on their own rather being with somebody, under the cover of being “independent”. Even I pretend to be the super duper girl, who’s capable of doing everything by her-self. I even say that (Browny), my 1 year old Yorkshire terrier is the best man I have met so far...such a LIE!
Why is it so important for us to wear this mask of being fully independent persons while we aren’t? Is it a strategy to get the approval and acceptance of the others? Just like wearing stylish clothes or having the coolest haircut. Is it a way of becoming sexier? Is the objective to be accepted in the society?
If so,then why independent sexy cool powerful women are increasingly singles? Why are they thinking of adoption and looking for a clinic where they can freeze their eggs? Why are they rejected in the World of MEN?
Why do men get scared of cool, attractive, decent INDEPENDENT women? Is just a slogan that men are looking for strong independent women, so they can be a la mode?
And why the independent sexy women became a threat to the INDEPENDENT men’s World? Those “Independent Men” who are so cool and always have lectures, discussions and manifestations about women threatening their “Kingdom Of Independence”, ironically enough; end up with the most needy, selfish, selfless women. Nothing to do with the image they tried to paint about looking for confident independent women!!!!
As for the “Independent Women” who claim to enjoy their “aloneness”, 3 scenarios are possible:
1.Get real and take off the stylish mask of being the powerful confident independent women,the iron woman...we all cry on our pillows , wishing to be in the arms of special man.
2.Play the role of being a helpless needy air-headed women, while you hide the power within you, just PRETEND, at the end, those women we mock win, and most end up with our gorgeous ex boyfriends.
3.If you are unable to pretend or show your weaknesses to someone, life is too short to spend it alone; go to the nearest clinic so at least you get a child by the age of 40.
I believe that we all, men and women, won’t enjoy our empty beds all our life, nothing is more real than sleeping in the warm arms of someone you can enjoy life, a glass of wine, a walk, a book, a movie, a song, silence… why don’t we all put off those masks and embrace real life... embrace ourselves just the way we are!!!
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