The Silence

After being at home for four consecutive days because I am sick, I decided to drag myself this afternoon and go for a walk around my house. Just to breathe for while and change the scene.

I live in a very dynamic area in Barcelona, full of older retired couples. I really enjoy sitting in one of the cafes in streets and listen to the conversations and dialogues of the couples. I smile to all of them and exchange the only few Catalan words I am able to say “bon dia”. Thinking in the back of my mind that one day I will be one of them… and would really appreciate a smile and natural recognition by a total stranger. I look at the older ladies, it amazes me how they take care of their looks, from the hair to the lipstick, the shawl, the borsch that matches the earnings, and the combs that hold those wonderful silver highlights. Last year, when I turned 30, I started using all sorts of those very expensive anti-wrinkles night and day creams. The truth is, I really despise getting old. I am afraid to have so many wrinkles. I will fight it as much as I can, yet, knowing I cannot beat mother nature.

After walking for 15 minutes, I got tired, given that I haven’t been able to eat for the past 4 days. I sat in one of the cafes near by and ordered some sparkling water. I sat by the window so I can enjoy the people walking in Avenida Gaudi and wouldn’t feel bored. I was also listening to music in my iPod. Next to me an older couple was sitting opposite to each other. They have just finished a snack. She was in her 70s, very well dressed, in a stylish dark purple full length coat, light pink blusher, pearl earrings and necklace. She wore 2 pearl combs on her silverfish whitish hair. The combs looked very original. He was a bit older than her. He was wearing a full length camel coat, with a brown hat. He was very busy drinking his coffee. I sat in that café for around an hour and 40 minutes. The couple didn’t say one word. Not even one word. She was sat there, holding her well manicured hands together on the table, with such a warm smile on her face all the time. She didn’t look at him all the time, not even one glance. While, he was drinking his coffee, then he went and bought another piece of cake and continued eating. Not even looking at her neither.

I am confused; I don’t know how to explain that silence. Are they so bored of each other that they became one ghost? Are they so tired of each other? Did they finish all their stories? Did they stop having anything in common? Are they an obligation to one another? Do they stay together just out of duty and image? Are they so comfortable with one another, that silence is their conversation? But why they didn't look into each others' eyes? The scariest idea for me is: are they dead while they are alive? Did they lose their soul and just living day after day?
The truth, I am scared, if this is the case of a couple’s life, wouldn’t be easier and more entertaining to live it on our own????? Why the society and our parents convince us that we should get married in order to share our life with the one we love???

I am torn apart between this saying: “There are times when silence has the loudest voice” and this: “Spiteful words can hurt your feelings but silence breaks your heart.”

Which one is the case of that couple? What will be my case one day!!!! Yet I believe that we must express our feelings and thoughts all the time. We cannot be empty, cold and observing life… we were born to live this life…. Silence is good for the soul… but the soul mate has to agree with this.

Aurora

Life or Something like it

Since I moved here to Barcelona, I didn't have a moment for myself to write in my blog. Due to the new life, new work, friends, environment, and a new home. Yes I do feel home here. I love my new small attic, very warm and comfortable.

This morning I was thinking of the unexpected and unplanned change life can offer us. Last year my life seemed to be working according to a perfect plan, everything worked as it was supposed to be. The truth, I never thought that I would be on the other side of the planet, the plan was to move East... well... I moved from the East directly to the West... without the slightest idea of what would my life be.

To my surprise, I am feeling well here, I am maturer, happier, healthier and enjoy a great deal of peace of mind. Each morning, I seize my day with cheerfullness and apetite for life. I have learned a lot from the experience I went though last year with Tsunami. Time passes us with a blink of an eye, the moment we live will never come back again, therefore, I decided to make the best out of everyday I live.

As the Great Paulo Coelho says:
"We can sell our time, but we can’t buy it back again"

Live...as if there is no tomorrow.
Laugh... from the deepest point in your body... let tears of laughter roll down on your face
Dream... dare to dream the wildest dreams... the sky is your limit
Love... deeply from the bottum of your heart...
Give... all what you have, time, attention, money, love, care, knowledge...devotion
Accept... everything life has to offer you
Appreciate... even when you wake up by the bird singing in the morning on your window, and you really wished to sleep a bit longer...
Forget and forgive... you will feel lighter, nothing weighes heavier than grudges... feels like carrying mountains on your shoulders...

Now the question is : Am I following all what I said?? the truth, I am doing my best, it is a journey, but I feel happier so may be I am doing the right things... I know I will get there. After all I am only a Girl who wants to live her life to the fullest.

Aurora